It Does Get Better
A reflection on reaching another anniversary, allowing grief to be felt, and discovering that life can gradually become more livable.
Read inside the demo →A blog about complicated grief
It’s messy.
An honest place about loving someone through addiction, losing an adult child, and learning how to live with the whole truth—the good, the difficult, and everything in between.
Who do you love? Who did you lose? Let’s share our stories.
“Eyes wide open; this isn’t for the faint of heart. It’s for those who want to explore, own, understand, and learn.”
The heart of this space
A place for the whole story
Grief can be especially complicated when the person we lost also struggled. This site makes room for love, anger, tenderness, confusion, memory, and truth to exist together.
It is written for parents who have lost adult children under difficult circumstances, parents currently loving a child through addiction, and readers seeking a more honest understanding of complicated grief.
Learn more about Ingrid and the site →Featured reflections
From the journal
Seven Years
On anticipation, milestones, the life built after loss, and learning the difference between influence and certainty.
Read inside the demo →The Emotion-O-Meter
How grief can turn up the volume on every feeling—and what it takes to live with that emotional intensity.
Read inside the demo →New here?
The Start Here page gives readers a gentle introduction to the purpose, tone, and main themes of Pink Checkered Shirt.
About Ingrid
Writing through grief, love, and learning
The person behind Pink Checkered Shirt and the purpose behind this deeply personal body of writing.
Hello, I’m Ingrid
Why I write
I write about my experience of grief after losing our adult son, Hunter, to an opioid overdose, and about the many things I have learned while living with that loss.
This work is for parents carrying a similarly complicated grief, for families currently facing addiction, and for readers who want a more honest window into both.
The aim is not to simplify Hunter’s life or mine. It is to look at the whole picture with love, honesty, humility, and a willingness to keep learning.
Content note: The original writing uses direct, sometimes strong language and addresses emotionally difficult subjects. Readers are encouraged to take care of themselves and step away whenever needed.
What guides the site
Three commitments
Tell the truth
Complicated grief rarely fits into neat language. The writing makes room for contradiction and honesty.
Honor the whole person
Love and difficult realities can exist together without reducing someone to only one chapter.
Keep learning
Reflection, professional support, reading, and lived experience can all shape a path forward.
A simple timeline
The story behind the writing
March 7, 1992
Hunter Thomas Blair was born.
December 4, 2016
Hunter died, changing the shape of Ingrid’s life and family forever.
The years after
Grief, therapy, reflection, reading, and writing became part of learning how to live forward.
Pink Checkered Shirt
The blog became a place to connect with people carrying similar experiences and questions.
For first-time readers
Start here
A gentle path into the site, whether you are grieving, supporting someone, or trying to understand complicated loss.
01
If you are grieving
Begin with writing about time, anniversaries, changing emotions, and the slow work of building a life that includes loss.
Read “It Does Get Better” →02
If you love someone struggling
Read with the understanding that love does not always come with control, certainty, or simple answers.
Read “Seven Years” →03
If you want to understand
Explore reflections on trauma, emotional intensity, memory, assumptions, and the body’s response to grief.
Read “The Emotion-O-Meter” →Read at your own pace
Some pages discuss loss, addiction, trauma, and grief in direct language. There is no correct order and no need to finish everything at once. Choose what feels manageable.
The central question
How do we truly live again?
Pink Checkered Shirt is less interested in offering easy answers than in making space for honest questions. How does a person carry love after loss? How does a family change? What can be accepted, and what simply has to be lived with?
Browse all reflectionsJournal archive
Reflections
Personal essays about grief, time, memory, trauma, love, and learning how to live after profound loss.
It Does Get Better
A reflection on anniversaries, emotional permission, endurance, and the possibility that grief can become more livable with time.
Seven Years
On a major milestone, the life built after loss, and the distinction between parental influence and certainty.
And… I’ve Lost It
An honest look at trauma, memory, anxiety, and the energy involved in rebuilding a workable life.
The Emotion-O-Meter
How grief can turn up the volume on every emotion and what it takes to live with that intensity.
It’s Getting Better
A meditation on life before and after loss, acceptance, and the question of how to truly live again.
Your Story Matters Too
An invitation to connect and speak honestly about grief that does not fit neatly into familiar language.
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Books and ideas
Favorites & resources
A curated shelf of reading and practices connected to trauma, grief, reflection, and understanding the mind and body.
Featured bookThe Body Keeps the ScoreBessel van der Kolk, M.D.
Trauma and the body
A well-known exploration of how trauma affects the brain, mind, and body. Included because Ingrid references it in her writing.
PracticeJournalingReflection without performance
Private reflection
Writing can create a place to notice patterns, memories, anger, tenderness, and questions without needing to resolve them immediately.
PracticeYoga & MeditationGentle attention
Mind-body practices
Gentle practices may support regulation and awareness. They are not replacements for professional care, but can be part of a wider support system.
SupportTherapyProfessional guidance
Working with a professional
A qualified professional can offer structured support for grief, trauma, anxiety, and the many changes that can follow loss.
CommunityShared StoriesConnection and recognition
Finding your people
Hearing from others with similar experiences can reduce isolation and make complicated emotions feel more understandable.
ReminderRestLowering expectations
Making room for limits
Rest, boundaries, and lowered expectations can be practical forms of care when grief or trauma consumes significant energy.
This page is informational and reflects themes mentioned in the original blog. It does not provide medical advice or replace qualified professional support.
Get in touch
Share a thought or your story
Reach out with a reflection, a thoughtful question, or a personal story connected to the themes of the blog.
Ingrid